Mediation Ministry

posted May 2, 2011 3:07 PM by Jon Norton [ updated May 5, 2011 5:04 AM ]

Conflict in the Church

Many of us find it difficult to directly address conflict in a healthy manner. We may not be practiced in dealing effectively with conflicts and react with silence or gossip, bending established rules or legislating new one. We perceive “trouble in the church” as un-Christian and shameful. Yet, Jesus expected conflict and taught ways of constructively responding to it.

Mediation can help!

What is mediation?

A voluntary process
Facilitating discussions
Between parties who ask for assistance
To settle their differences.

Mediation is a process –- a set of steps that assist people to communicate their concerns and interests more effectively and more accurately.

It provides a forum both to listen and to speak with the intent of resolving conflicts.

It is a voluntary process that is initiated, continued and concluded by the participants.

The product of mediation is a written agreement that is mutually acceptable to all parties.

Biblical Principles

Matthew 18:15-20, Acts 6: 1-7, Acts 15

God intends for us to live in peace.
God’s peacemaking starts with us.
The issue is not if we have conflict, but how we respond.
Direct communication works.
We draw on one another’s spiritual gifts.
We join in the Spirit’s work of resolving our differences.

Mediation Goals

Help parties discuss their concerns by:

Clarifying intentions and language
Identifying specific issues needing resolution
Creating mutually acceptable agreements

When mediation is appropriate

Facts are unknown or misread
Ground rules are breaking down
One problem is triggering many others
Communication is indirect & inaccurate
One-on-one negotiation is failing

What about costs?

Costs for mediation are paid by those who use the service, according to this schedule:

$100 per mediator per session

$25/hr pre/post session work

48.5 cents/mile travel

Classis/Synod aid may be available.

How do we arrange for mediation services?

A request for mediation may originate from a consistory, classis, Synod staff or an appropriate judicatory committee.

Classes will be notified of all requests.

Inquiries about mediation services may be made by contacting the Mediation Coordinator or the Regional Synod of New York.

Contacts for Information:

RSNY Mediation Ministry

c/o Regional Synod of New York

42 North Broadway

Tarrytown, NY 10591

(914) 332-1311

Rsynod@aol.com

RSNY Mediation Coordinator

Rev. William B. Doster

(201) 394-7017 [cell]

(201) 501-8951 [study and fax]

w.b.doster@verizon.net

Common areas of conflict:
Do any of these situations sound familiar?

The new pastor held so much promise. And the congregation looked like a great place to continue ones pastoral ministry. Why isn’t it working out? What can we do to make it work?

New leadership is being developed in the church. They bring new ideas and new ways of doing things. Some long-time church members are feeling threatened by the change. How can healthy change be facilitated?

Two congregations share a church building. Property use is viewed differently by the two communities and conflict arises almost weekly. How can they move toward a more positive understanding?

Significant decisions are made by the consistory, yet when it comes to implementation, “road blocks” appear and little seems to be accomplished. What’s going on?

Two consistory members have had a falling out over a property matter. Each is trying to recruit allies among the rest of the Consistory. It’s getting personal. How can the conflict be contained?

v.1

RSNYMedTeam2011brochurev2.pdf

(684k)

Jon Norton,

May 5, 2011 4:58 AM

Important Links

Visit our Facebook community

Office Information